The Gender Identi-Tree
The word tradition has a positive connotation— one that is filled with shared stories of a different time and ancestors that are long gone. While it is important to remember and commemorate our history, our roots if you will, it is even more imperative that we learn to frame history for what it is. Tradition as we know it, is often associated with the past- the customs of those that came before us that we wish to preserve in order to keep their legacy alive. There is no harm in studying the past, but the problem arises when we try to bring the past to the present. The past is stagnant—moments suspended in time that cannot be relived or reimagined. So, to reference what is “customary” or to call yourself “traditional” ignores that both things and people are constantly moving and evolving. Progress is natural and inevitable, and thus we must find ways to incorporate how the past can fit into this progress. If we settle on maintaining tradition, we are unable to move forward. It is through understanding the past that we might be able to rectify some misconceptions about the importance of tradition.
ROOTS
Polish Heritage
As many Poles crossed the Atlantic to make a better life for themselves in the United States in the early decades of the twentieth century, they brought with them traditions and customs to remind them of the homes they were leaving behind. Traditions of food preparation, religion, and family structures were seen as necessary parts of their culture, and so these men and women found ways to incorporate what they remembered of their old homes into their new homes. On my father’s side of my family tree, one will find a long list of all Polish descendants – nearly all residing in areas in or around the Detroit metropolitan area. This area was heavily populated with other Polish-Americans in the first waves of immigration and the communities and strong ties formed throughout these areas allowed Polish culture to flourish and remain an important part in all their lives.
The tie of religion in these communities is a notable one, and the strong connection that it had with the family’s offered them a stable structure and set of ideas that would make transition into American life easier. In trying to preserve ‘traditional’ ideas of the family and church traditions recalled from the old country, women suffered stricter and harsher judgments than they would have if they still lived in Poland. Before the industrial revolution in Poland, the peasant community, in which many of these immigrants came from, placed women in the sphere of the home; men worked outside in the fields and women took care of the children and the food preparation. This recollection of women’s roles in the old country led to justifications of keeping women in this sphere and condemning them for work outside the home. In their attempt to maintain their culture in the midst of the impeding American culture, traditions such as these made them feel more connected to their heritage. Yet these very traditions also prevented these women from experiencing American freedoms of divorce and work outside the home without being scrutinized by their communities. Can traditional female roles exist in modern society? Does trying to keep the past alive in gender roles help preserve a culture or just make it weaker?
More on the topic of Polish-Americans: Letters from Readers in the Polish American Press, 1902–1969: A Corner for Every body/edited by Anna D. Jaroszynska-Kirchmann ; translated by Theodore L. Zawistowski and Anna D. Jaroszynska-Kirchmann
Naval Heritage
My favorite and least favorite question that people ask me is where are you from? Does the answer ‘my Dad is in the Navy’ help explain? The Navy, and all the branches of the military for that matter, requires a level of commitment and dedication that is distinct from other careers. The Navy works on the basis that the all the members work in a cohesive unit. There is a hierarchical system, and you don’t question it, and you most certainly don’t mess with it. One aspect of this system is following orders, and for the family members of these servicemen, moving often and to faraway places is an extremely common occurrence. The military is not for homebodies or people who require consistency because you could be told you were being ordered to complete a tour in Japan or Italy on Monday and need to leave by Friday. While someone in the military agrees to this lifestyle, their spouse doesn’t have a say. There are certain duties and a level of loyalty to one’s husband that are expected of Navy wives. It is through these expectations that serviceman’s wives become ‘dependents’ of their husbands, fulfilling roles that serve only to promote their husband's careers. These expectations rob these women of their own voice and independence. Where’s the equality in this relationship? While the military requires a level of commitment and obedience, this doesn’t need to be replicated in the home. The Navy prides itself on maintaining tradition, but some traditions need a reevaluation to ensure that all parties involved feel worthy. For a daughter growing up with this institution as the backbone of her childhood, how is she able to develop more independant ideas of gender roles?
More on the topic of Navy Wives: Relocation, Gender, and Emotion: A Psycho-Social Perspective on the Experiences of Military Wives by Sue Jervis
American Heritage
As many probably recall from their middle school history books, the Industrial Revolution in the United States was a period that changed nearly every aspect of people’s everyday lives. The growth of technology provided new opportunities in the workforce, but it also shaped relationships at home. It was during this time that women’s roles as primary caretakers (those who stayed home to take care of the children while the husbands went to the factories to work) began to become what was acceptable and normal. This idea of ‘maternal instinct’ was born from this new dynamic, and for years now, it has become something we think of as a biological concept. But it’s not; it’s a cultural development, so we need to stop using this as some kind of justification that women will always be good mothers. Not only does this make women who don’t feel this ‘maternal instinct’ feel like they are missing something, but it also ignores that men are just as capable to raise children. If women aren’t drawn to motherhood, are they less of a woman? If men are drawn to the role of primary caregiver, are they less of a man? If we fail to understand why we believe these justifications, if we fail to understand our past, we are doing ourselves a great disservice.
More on the topic of Parenthood: Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids by Meghan Daum
